Destructo Disc - Punk Rocks For Kids Who Cant Skate

Genres: Punk Rock, Stoner Rock

Rating:★★★★☆

Favourite Tracks: I Wish I Was A Riot Grrrl, Cops / Dogs, Death Pact, George Romero is (un)dead

Bandcamp Spotify

Overall thoughts

For my first review I wanted to look at Destructo Discs "Punk Rocks For Kids Who Cant Skate", as I liked the band but never bothered sitting down and listening to the full album... Until now!

So, the album is an interesting blend of punk and stoner/garage rock, both instrumentally and vocally. Hell, this mix of genres sounds almost tailor made for the bands vocalist (Gideon Kupka), and it just works. A lot of the songs are much longer and calmer than you'd expect from a punk rock album, but it doesn't ever feel too tame or lame, with the more energetic songs sprinkled throughout the album's duration, albeit a little front heavy on the energy, but we'll get to that.

The Power Of Christ Expels You

Drop out of fucking school

Religion is a cult

Overdose on heroin

and kill your parents 1 2 3 4

Destructo Disc wastes no time, blasting you with their most powerful and punkish track right off the bat. This is basically their most aggressive song, which is quite brave for a song that's by all means just an intro, and you just have to respect it. Even though it's just an intro, I like it quite a lot. It's simple, it sounds like a blast to dance to, and it makes me want to go and burn down my local church.

I wish I was a Riot Grrrl

I'd like to kick your ass

Yeah, that sounds fair

Hiding my brutality behind dyed hair

Men with guitars, they don't know shit

And if they wanna talk shit, they can meet me in the pit

Destructo Disc classic, basically the first thing you think of when you hear this band mentioned (unless you think of Dragon Ball). This song immediately gets bonus points from me, simply because riot grrrl is one of, if not my favourite subgenre of punk as a whole, which I find to be often somewhat misunderstood (might write up a little rant about that later :P), and ironically, I've seen the song get just as misunderstood as the movement, people calling it a mocking of riot grrrl for the lyrics, which are making fun of shit guys say about the movement. Besides everything around the song, the song itself absolutely bangs. The instrumental is quite bass heavy, definitely not something you see that often. Vocally, the whole song is good, but those gritty rs in grrrl are what really make the song pop.

cops / dogs

All dogs go to heaven

And all cops go to hell

'Cause mans best friend won’t put a bullet in your head

And a cop fuckin will

Fun fact, I remember randomly hearing and loving this song solid 6, 7 years ago, a good while before I really got into punk as a whole, so it was fun revisiting, as it feels nostalgic in a weird way. Personal aspects aside, there can never be too many anti-cop songs, especially ones this unique. The track really shines lyrically, even though it's so damn short, basically being one long verse. It also stands out way more, as basically the only song that tackles a larger scale issue rather than being about a personal topic like their friends.

You're standing on my neck (Splendora cover)

I’ve got to be direct

It's like a big train-wreck

You're standing on my neck!

This song is a cover of Splendora's You're standing on my neck, which is also the intro for an animated show on MTV called Daria, which I've yet to watch (yet!) I recently started watching, and it's awesome. As this is a cover, I'm not gonna talk about the song itself, but more so how they adapted it, and I have to say, I'm impressed. First thing you notice, is that their cover is way shorter than the original, and that's because they cut it in half, essentially ending the song after the second verse, where the original kind of just resets all of its momentum, so the cover is a definite improvement. And the execution is so great, that this feels like the original that Splendora time traveled and stole the song from. This is the first song where we can hear Margaret Emily Claire Gordon (bass) on the back vocals, and imo it's a real shame they don't layer and play around with vocals like this more often, because it sounds fucking amazing, with the la la la's echoing every line, and just the contrast between their voices.

Sockhead

Cancer is a bitch, just like your ex girlfriend

What’s the point of punk rock, if you don’t have your best friend

This is the biggest tonal shift in the album, and feels like something that would make more sense to be towards the end of the album, but I digress. This is the slowest song in the album, also the only acoustic one, completely performed by Gideon alone, clearly, a personal piece. I know this song is one of their more popular ones, and I definitely don't hate it, but it simply doesn't hit as hard as the rest. While it doesn't do anything wrong per se, it feels rather mediocre to me personally.

Glenda

You're judging other people by the color of their skin

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's called sin

I really don't care what you think about the gays

I'll spit in your drink just like I'll spit on your grave

Very swiftly we pick it up where we left off before Sockhead, as the song starts with an aggressive instrumental and arguing taken straight out of a midwest emo intro. Outside of that, it's a pretty standard punk track, with not much to say about it. From this point onward basically every song will be about personal stories and feuds. The sudden slow bridge is on style for them, and sounds cool, although it kills the mood a little just before it picks back up. This is probably the most average song in the whole album.

Death Pact

One thing he taught me

“Always be yourself or you’ll never get anywhere”

He made a death pact with himself

This is my favourite song in the whole album, hands down. Not only does it play into what Destructo Disc is naturally great at, with its slow verses transitioning into an absolute earworm of a chorus. What you will notice while listening to these tracks, is how rarely they actually have a chorus in their songs, so it feels like a strong outlier. In terms of theme, the song is also awesome, even though its just about some guy who rolls joints out of bible paper. As I interpret it, the idea of swearing suicide before becoming untrue to own self is fucking awesome. This will definitely be stuck in my head for the next 2 weeks or so.

Batty for You

If they’re old enough to handle hate

Then they’re stoked enough to skate

(They’re stoked to stay up late together)

To skate

My fucking god! These bitches gay! Good for them! Good for them. Jokes aside, While it's a slower song, it's still one of my favourites, and the only reason it doesn't appear in the favourites list is becausee I don't want it to get too populated, so consider this a honorable mention. I love this song, as it utilizes the same things that make the Splendora cover so damn good: Margaret's back vocals and la la's, in this case doo doo's throughout the whole song, making a great contrast, while adding an extra layer of complexity, AND simultaneously not clashing with anything, what more could you ask for in a song?

Wolf Fang Fist

I can write lines that'll drip down your spine

Your scared, unprepared, but you're doing just fine

This song is a slow burn, and mostly drops the punk aspect of it, for a decent rock song. I honestly don't have much to say about it, it's alright, nothing too special in terms of sound.

Slow Dude

Car-crash on my way to pick up some pills

Swallow them so I can't feel good about myself

See: Wolf Fang Fist

George Romero is (un)dead

All of those movies that I am afraid of

Don’t mean a thing if the king's not around

Board up your doors he’s on his way

George Romero’s trying to bite me!

George Romero, for those who don't know, is the director of the "Night OF The Living Dead" movie franchise, well, was. The irony of this song is what makes it so good. It may not be the most clever in its execution, but it doesn't have to be, when Gideon is singing George Romero trying to eat his insides. Also the riff is just good, and I find it stuck in my head on an occasion.

Electric Sockhead

See: Sockhead + electric instruments + Backvocals. I like this one more, mostly for the extra flair that the backvocals provide, but it's also nice to have some extra noise to listen to.

keef America Gr8

Smoke weed!

More or less a bonus track, as it's just an average rock instrumental with a tiny bit of weed thrown in the mix, again, not much to say here :P